WANNA MARRY A SIX-YEAR-OLD? NO PROBLEM. WANNA PASS GAS? NO FREAKIN’ WAY.
According to The Military Times Marine Corps blog, Battle Rattle, the Marine Corps has banned audible farting in Afghanistan because it is culturally offensive to civilians working with the military, as well as members of the Afghan National Army.
The Military in Afghanistan had previously been ordered not to curse around members of the Afghan army, or the civilians they encounter while on patrol. They are also under orders not to discuss women or politics with Afghans. Now, audible bottom burps could land beer-drinking leathernecks in a stinker of a problem with their superior officers.
While some Marines find humor in the ban on trouser sneezing, others; not so much. Said one disgruntled butt trumpeter:
“So now we understand that Muslims in Afghanistan are offended by the sound of anal gas explosions but are quite comfortable with beheading, stoning, female genital mutilation, pedophilia, amputation, and hanging or burning homosexuals.”
Damn, he came out of the gate strong with that rebuttal, but(t) seriously – he has a point. I’ve always been puzzled by the notion that Americans must be careful not to offend “foreigners.” When someone is visiting the United States, we’re told to respect the cultural differences of said “foreigners,” so as not to offend them. When we visit foreign countries, we’re told to “respect the cultural differences” of the natives of whatever country we’re visiting – so as not to offend them. Why do we always get the short stick in the deal?
Why doesn’t anyone ever have to “respect the cultural differences” of US? Hell, we’re in Afghanistan protecting Afghans from public beheadings in sports arenas; the least they could do is show their respect by farting as loudly, and as often as possible whenever they’re in the company of United States Marines.
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If our Marines are so offensive to the Afghans, perhaps they should pack up and come home. Besides, the Afghans don’t smell so good themselves!
I say we get the heck out of any war/conflict outside of our borders, and Israel, become self sufficient, and give the rest of the world one big American middle finger!
Were it only that simple – but ya know what? I’m a lot closer to that school of thought than I ever thought I would be. The thought of losing one more precious American life in a fight to prop up a society that mistreats its women and rapes its children is as abhorrent a thought as I can imagine.
Thank you for a great post.
How petty, as though they don’t fart. I didn’t know Islamics were so concerned about farts when they were being killed en masse by the Taliban. Actually, I thought farts are what powered their magic carpets…….:- 0
I believe the reason for the prohibition against farting has been somewhat misunderstood. While it is true that farting is considered offensive by Afghans, the more important point is that a man who farts in public is permanently disgraced in the eye of the Afghan people. A person who farts is seen as a loser and a coward. This would certainly not enhance the image of the marine warrior.
I get it; it’s a cultural thing. Perhaps it’s a bit of gallows humor, but it’s somewhat “funny” that terms like “offensive” and “disgraced” are used to describe the Afghans’ reaction to farting — with the atrocities they embrace under Sharia.